Familiarity in Unfamiliar Places

Offices, societies, apartment complexes, colleges. There are always faces that you see daily at these places, whom you never talk to. They are not your friends, colleagues, neighbours or a part of your gang so there is no interaction. They know about your existence and you know about theirs, but there is no interaction.

Life keeps going on and on, where you keep seeing them and they keep seeing you and that’s about it.

Suddenly, when you are out of your regular place, where you see that person daily, and you are at an unfamiliar place and you happen to see or bump into that same person, a smile comes on to your face and the same happens to the other person. Both acknowledge each other’s presence and sometimes even talk.

It is surprising to note that for days/months/years, one has been seeing the same person at the same place, but one does not talk, smile or interact with the other person, but when the same person is seen or met at a new or unfamiliar place, things change.

I just experienced something similar yesterday. I had gone to my regular supermarket for some household purchases, and the parking attendant happened to be a guy, who used to work as a security guard in my housing complex. On seeing me, he smiled and I also smiled. My immediate reaction was to ask him whether he has changed jobs that he is there and his reply was that this was just a weekend duty, which he was doing. This is the same guy, who is there on many days, when I bring my car back to my house, and he opens the gate for me and I park my car in my parking area. There had been no interaction with him before this, and yet when we met, we smiled and spoke to each other. After speaking to him, this thought of familiarity in unfamiliar places was playing in my mind continuously.

What is it at new or unfamiliar places that change our reaction on seeing a familiar place? Is it that we feel assured to see someone we know? Is it basic courtesy (which I am not sure, as then in that case, where was all the courtesy all this while?)

I do not have the answer and I think that is something researchers and behaviour analysts need to monitor and figure out.