IF EACH SPORT WAS A WOMAN, WHAT RELATIONSHIP WOULD I HAVE WITH THEM

As the title of this blog suggests, I have let my imagination go a little wild and allowed to indulge myself by thinking each sport to be a woman. By this imaginative logic, let me tell you that I have known lot of guys, who could easily qualify as Casanovas, as they have had all kinds of women falling for them, which means that they have excelled in each and every sport that they have played in their lives.


If I were to talk about myself in this regards, then I guess, people would call me a compulsive flirt – trying my hands/legs at each and every sport…getting lucky (to be read as ‘managing decently well’) in some and realizing that some are not meant for me.

After lot of thinking, analysis, and introspection I have been able to put my relationship status with each of these women and each one is/was actually at a different stage of relationship in my life.

So without talking any more, here goes my relationship status, which I am today openly putting in front of the entire world:

Carrom: Would call my relationship with this as that of ‘puppy love’. Fell for it at a very young age….we overgrew each other over the years. There is still fondness for her but its more of a caring kind, which says that “Don’t worry, when no one is there to support you, I will always be there”.

Basketball: There was something about her that made me go after her. You can call it instant attraction. We saw each other for some time, but our relationship had its ups and downs. We broke up, then got together again, then broke up again to once again get together. Finally, we realised that there is a compatibility issue between us and there is no point in continuing like this. We parted ways amicably, though even today, whenever we meet we have a good time.

Skateboarding: When you are 17 and you just enter college and the entire college is crazy after one girl, you also go after her in the hope that you may get a chance to talk to her. Once you have managed to speak to her and things start falling in place, you have great pride in walking across the campus with her to show her off and to make others jealous. Skateboarding was that woman for me and it allowed me to flaunt what I had got.

Volleyball: We were going good for a few years and all looked good, but then she asked for a commitment and I was not ready for that. We had to say good bye to each other, though both of us know that whenever we meet, the attraction will come back.

Football: When you have just entered your teens and you rebellious nature is just coming out, you like to be with someone who is a tomboy and who also has a rebellious and aggressive nature. Football was that tomboy for me. She knew my state of mind during those years and she helped me in controlling my aggression. We knew we are just helping each other and later in the day, we will just move on. That is what happened.

Table Tennis: This is a woman I have been having a very long term relationship with. We have been seeing each other for almost 14 years now, though we were not together in the middle for 3 – 4 years, but we realised that we can’t stay without each other and we came back together. I can easily say that she has been my rock steady partner. She understands me and my temperament and allows me to be myself…totally uninhibited and I like it that way.

In between my long term relationship with Table Tennis, I have been with other partners also and have also had some flings. In fact, there is a clear understanding of mine with Table Tennis that we will meet other potential partners also, even though we are together so that we know at the end of the day that we chose to be with each other only because others were not fit for us. This is my status with other partners:

Cricket: I have a long-distance relationship with her. We meet once a year and get updated about each others’ lives. There is nothing more to it as we know that our futures are not connected.

Lawn Tennis: We have just started dating each other some time back and these are early days. We are trying to know each other, understand each other’s personalities, likes and dislikes. Right now, I can say that I look forward to my weekend dates with her. Let’s see how it goes from here.

Badminton: The relationship with badminton is kind-of complicated. We don’t meet each other very often and we have not broken up also. Both of us are busy in our lives and in meeting other partners that we don’t miss each other so much. But, whenever there is no one else, we tend to come together. I guess both of us like it that way.

Swimming: What do I say about her? She says she is not into relationships at all. She is just looking for a bonding… does not want to call it a relationship… is just happy that I drop in whenever I can. She has no demands and no expectations. I would call her the silent lover.

This sums up my relationship history with all these beautiful women that I have been lucky to have met in my life. Each one has made moments of life beautiful and I would like to thank each one of them in making me what I am today.

English Language - Laziness or Sheer lack of creativity?

People often say that English is a funny language, where words that are spelt similarly are pronounced differently and the classic example that comes to mind is that of the words ‘to’ and ‘go’, which are very aptly pointed out by Dharmender in the classic comedy Chupke Chupke.

In fact, it is also said that the complexity of the Engilsh language is also evident from the fact that similar sounding words are spelt differently and have completely different meanings eg – Sea and see, there and their.

I however have a completely different take on the English language and its creator. In fact, as far as I see it, all the complexities and oddities pointed out above are a result of the lack of creativity or just plain laziness of the creator. That is the reason two differently spelt words have similar pronunciations and two similar looking words are pronounced differently.

Let me put across a few more points in favour of my argument and my hypothesis. The creator of the English language has very conveniently given just one word ‘You’ to address all people irrespective of age, authority, etc., whereas in comparison, the Hindi language is extremely worked out in detail, where we have words like Aap, Tum and Tu for different kind of people depending on the relationship, age and seniority.

The English language creator did not even explore various relationships in detail and has conveniently given us a few common relationships to be used. Let’s just compare the English term for a relation and its Hindi counterpart options for the same relation, where the name of the relation changes basis which side of the family he/she is. Here is a list of all those relations:

Grandfather and Grandmother: Dada/Nana and Nani/Dadi

Uncle and Aunt: Tauji/Chachaji/Phuphaji/Masaji/Mama/Kaka and Taiji/Chachiji/Bua/Masi/Mami/Kaki

Brother-in-law: Jijaji/Saala/Behnoi

Sister-in-law: Bhabhi/Nanand/Jethani/Devrani


Basis all the above examples shared, I would like to conclude that the creator of the English language either lacked creativity or was plain lazy, whereas on the other hand, the creator of the Hindi language went into complete detail and gave us names for every relation so that the warmth of a relationship is much stronger. With this I rest my case.