THE TRUST EQUATION

Have you ever heard about the #trust equation? The Trust Equation was first introduced in 2000 by David Maister in his book, 'The Trusted Advisor'.

I came across it quite recently and was intrigued by the factors at play in this equation:
Credibility, Reliability, Intimacy and Self-Orientation. 

The more I understood it, the more it became clearer to me that this is an equation that can be used in so many situations:

1. Companies managing a crisis. 

2. Countries tackling a pandemic. 

3. Leaders leading a change management process. 

4. Individuals working on their personal relationships. 

5. Customer service dealing with disgruntled customers.

I am sure there are many other situations where the trust equation can help us move forward in the right way. 

For me, there is one factor missing in this equation and I would add that too. That factor is EMPATHY. I strongly believe that empathy is an important element in building trust. 

I wanted to share this with all of you as well, in case you have not seen or heard about the Trust Equation before.

CAREER FUEL

'The secret of success in life is to be ready when the opportunity knocks'.

How do you get ready? By building career fuel as Brian Fetherstonhaugh from Ogilvy mentions. 

According to him, all successful leaders have an abundance of career fuel so that the growth engine keeps on moving the individual forward without coming to a halt.

How is your tank looking? Are you filling up on all three fuel that form a part of career fuel?

MAKE IT COUNT!

In the current digitally connected world, it is quite easy to think that we are establishing connections and building relationships without even having a face to face conversation. Despite the advent of technology, nothing comes close to a personal interaction because, that is when people feel close to each other, and cared for. With these thoughts in mind, I just crafted a few lines: 

Phone calls couldn't do much, 
What you could achieve through touch. 

You could gift them the best mugs, 
But the most happiness only came through hugs. You can promise them a treat, 
But what they want is to meet. Doing a phone call is nothing but a ploy, 
If you can't be there to share their sorrow and joy. Congratulations should be given by a pat on back, 
Not by a cold message through Slack. Apologies are messages said with emotion, 
Not a WhatsApp message with an emoticon. Nothing works better than a smile, 
Don't be lazy and walk that extra mile. Building a relationship takes some time, 
Meeting people in person is not a crime. Don't drop an email, meet face to face. 
Don't be busy in your inbox, life isn't a race. hashtag#poetry #poem #kunalviews #success #corporate #technlogy #break #connection #personal #relationships

TRUST – It Comes and Goes at Unknown Places

The thought of this blog came after a few messages that got exchanged between a friend and me on Twitter. It made me thinking and I thought that the word/feeling/emotion called ‘TRUST’ needs a more detailed probing and thinking, and rightly so, as this small but powerful word plays a critical and crucial role in relationships, businesses, partnerships, negotiations, and any other human transaction one can think of.

For the purview of this blog, I would like to keep relationships out of this deep dwelling as presence of trust in that is a given and is a mandatory. It would be interesting to explore the dimensions of Trust and how it acts up in non-personal situations.

Let me start with an incident that happened a few days back and which further strengthened the idea of putting this blog: I had gone to the petrol pump to get fuel filled in my car and the attendant asked me to check the zero sign before he started filling the tank. Since I could not see the digits while sitting in the car, I got off the car to check the zero. What struck me there and then is that trust is the first thing that goes out of the window as soon as you enter a petrol pump. You will perpetually go and check the zero sign every single time even though it may be the petrol pump where you go regularly to get fuel filled.

This made me sit up and start thinking about places where trust is at the lowest level and then there are also places where trust is the highest. Let us talk of another example where trust is high.

Ever tried opening a new email account or signing up for a new account online. Chances are that as part of the registration process, you are asked to accept the terms and conditions which run into a few pages. No one and I repeat no one ever bothers to go through the fine print and immediately presses the ‘Accept’ button.  This happens despite the person on the other side being a stranger and an unknown face and the risk being higher that what you are accepting may not exactly be what you agree with. So how is it that trust in such a situation tends to go up significantly? Is it lack of time, the hurry to get the registration done with or difficulty in understanding the legal language? If you sit back and ask yourself, the answer is none of these and it is our inherent trust that stems from the fact that if a site is online, it has to be reputed and hence can be trusted. Not necessarily true but the reality.

No matter how good a human being and truthful a real estate agent may be, the trust that you put on him while doing a property deal is never rock solid and it is always wavering. You are always hoping that you get what you have been promised at a rate that does not make you feel that you have been fleeced or cheated. In this case, trust gets governed not by the individual but by the perceptions that have been formed.

The word SALE often used to conjure doubt in the minds of shoppers, atleast till a few years back. One would often hear comments like “This must be their rejected goods” or “They must have increased the prices first and now they are showing it as discount”. Thankfully, due to the presence of more and more organized players, such perceptions have changed for the better and people trust Sales and Discounts to be genuine nowadays.

Every time you hand over your car keys to a valet, whether in a 5 star hotel or a small restaurant or a wedding venue where valets have been hired, you are not only handing over the keys but you are also placing implicit trust in the valet with the assumption that not only will he park your car safely, but you will also get your car back the way you gave it.  

I think the above-mentioned situations should give you a drift of what I am trying to say. I am sure there would be many more such incidents in each one’s life where trust tends to go up or down depending on our experiences, our perceptions and our own approach to life.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE PLANTS

Relationships are like plants. They need to be nurtured. The way plants need right amount of sunlight, water, fertilisers, soil, etc., similarly, relationships also need right amount of love, understanding and space.

When taken good care of, plants develop strong roots that gives them stability and strength. Same is the case with relationships. If proper care is given to the relationship, it becomes more rooted to ensure the turmoils that will try to come and uproot it.

Plants take in carbon dioxide and give out oxygen. Often, relationships also do that, where one of the partners takes in all the bad things of the other and yet gives out all the love that he/she has.

Plants prove that they have been taken good care of either by continuing to grow more or by bearing flowers and fruits. Relationships also prove that they are being nurtured properly when the people involved in it continue to be happy and their happiness increases more and more. They love each other more when they know that the relationship is being taken good care of.

Plants react very strongly when you put more water than required or your forget to put water or when they receive more than desired sunlight. Similarly, relationships also react when the amount of love is less, there is no space given to the individuals or there are too many misunderstandings.

Sometimes, one goes out of town and when one comes back, one needs to give immediate to the plants as they have not been cared for. Same holds good for relationships. In order to keep it alive, one needs to keep doing a reality check often so that they know that when a relationship needs more attention to keep it going.

Lastly, plants tend to wither when it gets neglected, when there is no-one to tender each and every leaf of it. Relationships also die when the people involved in it neglect each other or do not take care of each and every need of the other.

IF EACH SPORT WAS A WOMAN, WHAT RELATIONSHIP WOULD I HAVE WITH THEM

As the title of this blog suggests, I have let my imagination go a little wild and allowed to indulge myself by thinking each sport to be a woman. By this imaginative logic, let me tell you that I have known lot of guys, who could easily qualify as Casanovas, as they have had all kinds of women falling for them, which means that they have excelled in each and every sport that they have played in their lives.


If I were to talk about myself in this regards, then I guess, people would call me a compulsive flirt – trying my hands/legs at each and every sport…getting lucky (to be read as ‘managing decently well’) in some and realizing that some are not meant for me.

After lot of thinking, analysis, and introspection I have been able to put my relationship status with each of these women and each one is/was actually at a different stage of relationship in my life.

So without talking any more, here goes my relationship status, which I am today openly putting in front of the entire world:

Carrom: Would call my relationship with this as that of ‘puppy love’. Fell for it at a very young age….we overgrew each other over the years. There is still fondness for her but its more of a caring kind, which says that “Don’t worry, when no one is there to support you, I will always be there”.

Basketball: There was something about her that made me go after her. You can call it instant attraction. We saw each other for some time, but our relationship had its ups and downs. We broke up, then got together again, then broke up again to once again get together. Finally, we realised that there is a compatibility issue between us and there is no point in continuing like this. We parted ways amicably, though even today, whenever we meet we have a good time.

Skateboarding: When you are 17 and you just enter college and the entire college is crazy after one girl, you also go after her in the hope that you may get a chance to talk to her. Once you have managed to speak to her and things start falling in place, you have great pride in walking across the campus with her to show her off and to make others jealous. Skateboarding was that woman for me and it allowed me to flaunt what I had got.

Volleyball: We were going good for a few years and all looked good, but then she asked for a commitment and I was not ready for that. We had to say good bye to each other, though both of us know that whenever we meet, the attraction will come back.

Football: When you have just entered your teens and you rebellious nature is just coming out, you like to be with someone who is a tomboy and who also has a rebellious and aggressive nature. Football was that tomboy for me. She knew my state of mind during those years and she helped me in controlling my aggression. We knew we are just helping each other and later in the day, we will just move on. That is what happened.

Table Tennis: This is a woman I have been having a very long term relationship with. We have been seeing each other for almost 14 years now, though we were not together in the middle for 3 – 4 years, but we realised that we can’t stay without each other and we came back together. I can easily say that she has been my rock steady partner. She understands me and my temperament and allows me to be myself…totally uninhibited and I like it that way.

In between my long term relationship with Table Tennis, I have been with other partners also and have also had some flings. In fact, there is a clear understanding of mine with Table Tennis that we will meet other potential partners also, even though we are together so that we know at the end of the day that we chose to be with each other only because others were not fit for us. This is my status with other partners:

Cricket: I have a long-distance relationship with her. We meet once a year and get updated about each others’ lives. There is nothing more to it as we know that our futures are not connected.

Lawn Tennis: We have just started dating each other some time back and these are early days. We are trying to know each other, understand each other’s personalities, likes and dislikes. Right now, I can say that I look forward to my weekend dates with her. Let’s see how it goes from here.

Badminton: The relationship with badminton is kind-of complicated. We don’t meet each other very often and we have not broken up also. Both of us are busy in our lives and in meeting other partners that we don’t miss each other so much. But, whenever there is no one else, we tend to come together. I guess both of us like it that way.

Swimming: What do I say about her? She says she is not into relationships at all. She is just looking for a bonding… does not want to call it a relationship… is just happy that I drop in whenever I can. She has no demands and no expectations. I would call her the silent lover.

This sums up my relationship history with all these beautiful women that I have been lucky to have met in my life. Each one has made moments of life beautiful and I would like to thank each one of them in making me what I am today.