Let us Even out the Odds this April

Now that 1st of April is behind us and enough number of people have been fooled, let us look forward. Come 15th of April and Delhi will be back with its Odd and Even Scheme. 

Now before I dwell any further, let me give a quick update to all those who are reading this blog but do not belong to Delhi or India. Delhi was the first city in India that tried an experiment in January 2016 of implementing the rule of Odd and Even for its automobiles in the city. This Odd and Even Rule has been implemented in the past in many cities of the world like Shanghai, Beijing, Paris, Mexico etc. and each has seen its own set of challenges while implementing such a rule. 

The way the Odd and Even scheme works is that on the odd numbered dates, only the cars bearing odd license numbers can bring their cars out on the roads and the even numbered cars have to stay in, and the reverse thing works during the even numbered dates. Let me clarify this:

So if the date is 2nd April, 4th April, 16th April or any other even date, then you can only bring your car on the road if your license plate number ends with an even number. Similarly, when the date is an odd number like 3rd April, 7th April or 21st April, you have to keep your even numbered cars inside and bring out the odd numbered cars. 

When this scheme was announced in Dec’15 for its implementation in Jan’16, people made a big hue and cry about it and the media as well as social media didn’t wait a minute in lampooning the idea and suggestion of the Delhi Chief Minister – Arvind Kejriwal. There were memes and jokes floating around and everyone had predicted the failure of such a scheme in Delhi. But the Government went ahead with its implementation, and the perspective and opinion of people changed after seeing the positive impact that this scheme had in reducing the number of cars on the road and thereby the travel time for each person. It is debatable that to what extent this scheme led to the reduction in pollution levels, which was the moot cause why this scheme was announced, but the effects on traffic reduction were evident clearly. 

Now such a scheme clearly has its drawbacks and disadvantages too, like:

1. The public transport system in Delhi is still not upto the mark, so how does one travel on days when one cannot take out his or her car. Should people bear the brunt of over-crowded Metros, over-charging autos, and over-speeding buses for 15 days?

2. Not everyone in Delhi has an even numbered and an odd numbered car and people are not willing to take the public transport, which is crowded and infrequent. 

3. If one has a driver with only one car, will that person now pay the driver for only 15 days? No driver will accept a cut in his salary just because the Government is not allowing cars to ply on the roads on certain days. 

Keeping the drawbacks aside, it is quite clear that reducing the number of cars on the roads of Delhi NCR is an imperative that cannot be pushed any further. So here is an alternative solution that I want to propose, which could possibly overcome some of the drawbacks highlighted above. 

What if we bring in a scheme called ‘Is it your Car’s Date Today?’. The biggest benefit of this scheme that I propose is that no car will be off the road for more than 4 days at the maximum. This means that the citizens would be happy to participate and not face the burden of an Odd-Even scheme. 

So what does this ‘Is it your Car’s Date Today’ scheme entail?

What this means is that if your car number matches the last digit of the calendar date, then your car shouldn’t be out on the road that day. Let’s understand this with a few examples:

• If the date on the calendar is 1st, 11th, 21st or 31st then all the cars ending with the number 1 have to be off the roads.
• If the date on the calendar is 10th, 20th or 30th, then all the cars ending with the number 0 have to be off the roads.
• If your car number ends with the number 9, then you can’t be bringing your car out on the road on the dates of 9th, 19th and 29th of a month. 

My solution is quite practical, easy to implement, not too much of a burden to the citizens and yet effective in curtailing the number of cars on the road on any given day. 

Of course, the reduction in the number of cars would be much lesser than what we see with the Odd-Even scheme, but we have to balance out the requirements of the individuals with the requirements of the society. 

What would you say to this Mr. Arvind Kejriwal?

The Metro Manual

Out of the last 800 days, I must have used the Metro at least 500 times. Now before you start thinking that I am so obsessed to keep a track of the number of days gone by, let me tell you that the figure of 800 comes from the fact that I have completed just over two years in my current organization and hence the number. 

And the figure of 500 is an estimate. Please note that it is 500 times and not 500 days, because every day that I do decide to go to work by Metro, I also decide to come back home and hence a count of 2 per day and hence the number of 500.

Now that I have cleared the air for the doubting Thomases, let me come to the main objective of this blog. I believe that I have cracked the code  for men on how to ensure a seat in a Metro every time that you travel. I shall be generous enough to share the secret with all of you through this manual:

Step 1: Step into the ladies coach only if you are feeling fit and rich: This step should be obvious to the men but it does not seem so. If you are a man and you do enter their coach, forget getting any seating but be sure of getting a beating! And if it is your unlucky day, you will also be fined and handed over to the police. So stay away from this coach. If you are a lady, my advice to you also would be to stay away from this coach. It is always packed and there are chances of you getting a seat in the general compartment rather than here as those coaches have seats reserved for women.

Step 2: Get into the second coach only if you want to be seen as a Roadside Romeo: This is not the coach to try your luck for a seat. This coach is the next one after the ladies’ coach and it consists of three kinds of people:

1.       Men who have been pushed away from the ladies’ coach

2.       Men who want to check out women and purposely get into this coach

3.       Men who caught the Metro in the nick of time, while climbing down from the stairs

Women do not have a great perception about men in this coach so it is better to stay off this coach as anyway the three kind of men described above are in abundance, ensuring that this coach is packed.

Step 3: Sit on the seat reserved for ladies with your reflexes on full alert: If you get onto a coach and see a seat reserved for ladies available, do not put a face of content and satisfaction. This seat is like a temporary post in a Government, which can be pulled away from you any minute. As soon as a lady enters the coach, you will have to stand up and offer her the seat in 30 seconds, else not only her reaction but the looks from others will suddenly make you feel like a dwarf.

NOTE: The only place where you can get away by sitting on such a seat is the last coach, which normally sees lesser women boarding it. Go ahead and try your luck!

Step 4: If you have studied Consumer Behaviour or Human Psyche, then apply it here: Always wondered how psychiatrists or marketers (Really!) are able to decipher what people are thinking then this is your opportunity to show that you are no less! People tend to start shifting a bit in their seats, closing that book that they are reading, start combing their hair, or looking at their watch just few minutes before their stop is about to arrive. Be smart and notice this before others and go and stand close to that person. Chances are that you will get the seat at the next station and you can feel smug about it. But beware! There are people out there who do all these things and confuse the hell out of you and have no intention of getting off till the last station! I hate such con artists.

If after reading all of this, you are still not able to get a seat in a Metro, then scroll down and read the Disclaimer, while I go ahead and apply for a patent for this Manual.

Special tips for people outside Delhi/NCR reading this:

People in Mumbai city: Save this manual. It may help you someday. The day the Metro does come up.

People in Bangalore/Bengaluru:  You are the new kids on the block. Use this manual and show your expertise.

People in Kolkata: No manual can help you! Tell Didi that the time has come for an upgrade of the Metro.

People in other places: You will just have to hope that you also get a Metro to be able to use this manual.

Disclaimer: Reading this manual is no guarantee of getting a seat in the Metro. The writer of this blog still struggles to get a seat every day, despite showing expertise in the above article.