Open that Jam Bottle to enjoy its Sweet Taste

Have you ever been in a situation where you were keen to enjoy the taste of jam from a jam bottle that you were trying to open, but somehow you were not able to enjoy its sweet taste once the bottle was opened? 

Source: https://www.graphicsfuel.com/2016/01/jam-bottle-mockup-psd/

Now before you start imagining what I am trying to say, let me give you two scenarios: 

Scenario 1: You have guests over at your place and at the breakfast table, you decide to open a new bottle of jam. Imagine that you are using all your strength in twisting the lid of that jam bottle. You are huffing and puffing, your arm has started to pain and yet that lid does not open. You look around and hand over the bottle to the person sitting next to you, requesting her or him to open the bottle. She/he now applies a similar tactic like yours and Voila! Within a few seconds, the lid opens; there is a smug smile on the face of the person who opened the bottle. Everyone around applauds the effort of that person and looks at you sympathetically with a presumption that you do not have the strength that is needed to open a jam bottle. What you nor does anyone else know, is the fact that with all your efforts, the lid had started loosening from the neck and if you had persisted, you would have been able to open the lid within another a few seconds. 

Scenario 2: You are busy applying your strength to open the jam bottle and someone comes and offers help. You gladly hand over the bottle. As expected, the bottle opens soon. The person who helped you now starts telling the entire world that it was he or she who opened the bottle and not you, even though it was your job to open the bottle. They take the entire credit without bashing an eyelid. 

Does this sound familiar to you? Has it ever happened with you? 

In life as well as in organizations, this common situation happens to many people. Some people learn fast and avoid such situations while there are others who keep falling in the same situation repeatedly. 

Here are a few simple tips and suggestions that can help you to open that jam bottle and enjoy its benefits completely: 

1. Do not give up: This one is easier said than done. I do understand that there would be situations and times when you think that you have tried all possible solutions and yet you are not able to move forward. That is exactly the time when you need to draw your utmost inner strength and continue finding ways to achieve a task or overcome a problem. Remember, there are chances that the lid has started loosening from the neck. You do not want to miss the great tasting jam at this stage. 

2. Be careful of who you seek help from: If you have been a victim of your jam bottle credit being taken by someone else, then you should know who are the people who will happily open the botte and give it back to you without even mentioning it to anyone. These are the ones who deserve genuine thank you. You would also know the ones who would love to help in a situation, but would then let the entire world know. You should not be asking for help from them at all. 

3. Give enough visibility of your project milestones: If your project has high stakes which means, that if delivered it can help the company move forward in a significant way, then there are chances that people will come forward to help and soon they will be talking as if they are the ones leading the project. To avoid such situations, it is extremely important to share key milestone achievements of the project with various stakeholders at different stages of the project so everyone knows who the commander of the ship is and how you are steering the ship forward even though the other person might claim credit to the project. 

4. Confront the person: If a person is repeatedly doing this to your projects, it is best to sit down and confront the person. Understand the reason of their behavior, their concerns with you and let them know your discomfort. You will be surprised that sometimes they may not even realize what they are doing and how it is affecting you and just bringing it to their notice can work. 

What I have mentioned above is quite simple and obvious but sometimes it is the simple and the obvious that gets missed out in the chase of the complex and difficult. I hope that these suggestions help you to enjoy the sweet taste of your jam more often. This is not an exhaustive list, and depending on your circumstances, you would discover other ways and means of enjoying your jam and I would be happy to know some of the suggestions that you may want to offer.

The Power of Non-Verbal Acknowledgement

Have you ever been in a situation on the road, where you have left someone else pass the road ahead of you and the person has acknowledged your act through thumbs up sign?

Alternatively, a scenario where the road ahead was too narrow and you have reversed your car to let the car on the other side to come across before you went ahead on that road, and the other car driver has held out his hand to acknowledge and thank you for your act.

On the other hand, what about a situation where you were presenting something to a room full of people and you said something that you wanted validation for, you gave a quick glance to your boss and she/he gave a slight nod of validation and acknowledgement that what you said is absolutely fine.

How about a romantic scenario where your spouse or your partner is sitting a little away from you in a party and you both look at each other and blink and smile to say that I hope you are enjoying the party.

Moreover, how can we forget the many non-verbal acknowledgements that we give and receive on a daily basis on social media in the form of likes, retweets, hearts, etc.

There could have been many other situations like where the person inside the elevator held the door for you as you made a rush towards it and you just smiled in a thanking way, or you stopped on seeing a pedestrian as he crossed the road and he held up his hands to thank you and acknowledge your act. These are just a few examples but I am sure that you may recollect many such situations where there wasn’t any conversation through words but yet there was an exchange that took place through non-verbal acknowledgement.

The beauty of an acknowledgement is that you do not need to know the person, it does not come with the inhibitions of a conversation where an icebreaker is needed and it is a universal language that is understood by all, even though the receiver and the giver may speak completely different languages.

It is an extremely powerful non-verbal tool, which doesn’t have a fixed way and each and every non-verbal cue is acceptable – be it a thumbs up, a nod of the head, a smile, blinking of eyes or any other non-verbal movement as long as the people involved in the exchange of this understand it. It is a small act but it makes both the receiver and the giver feel positive, where the person who is acknowledging appreciates the act of the other and the person who is being acknowledged feels nice that his act has been noticed.

Quite often, in our busy lives, we forget the power of such non-verbal cues, but it is one of the simplest, purest and easiest forms of communication that any two individuals can participate it. It doesn’t take much of an effort but the positive feeling that it leaves you with can suddenly uplift your mood, improve your day, energize you and make you feel thankful for the beautiful life around. Next time, pay attention when you get acknowledged or take the effort to acknowledge someone and you will see the power of this universal language.