MEETING MEN AND WOMEN ON A FARM

Relationship status messages on Facebook, matrimonial sites, dating apps…they are all there around us. If you are single or even if you are not, choices exist for you if you are willing to put in the time and effort that comes along with it. 

Today men and women or even people of the same sex can meet each other through various platforms and see what they can make of these meetings/dates/rendezvous, call it whatever you want. 

Depending on what you are looking for, you can decide on which part of the FARM do you want to be. FARM. Did I just mention FARM? Have I lost it? Till a paragraph back, I was talking about men and women and how they can mingle with each other through various platforms and then suddenly why would I be talking about an agricultural piece of land FARM?

Now now, before you start thinking that I am drunk in the afternoon, let me explain myself. Basis my understanding and observation of human behavior, I have come across four levels at which people want to connect with someone else. I have put these four into a term that I call FARM.

So what does FARM entail? 

FARM consists of a Fling, Affair, Relationship and Marriage.

Different people at different point in their lives choose one of these parts of a FARM. Sometimes it is the same two people who are on different parts of the FARM but quite often, one of the two individuals are different at different parts of the farm. 

How do I further classify these parts and what distinguishes one from the other?

FLING: A fling is a short term event or incident. It usually lasts for a few days and extends sometimes to a month or so. In most cases, a fling has lust at its core unless it starts with the honest intention of a relationship, but due to circumstances or reasons it ends much earlier and ends up being a fling. Quite often, both the individuals knowingly get into a fling, where usually terms like ‘No Strings Attached’ are also heard. I am sure that all you readers are smart individuals and I do not need to explain a fling any further. 

AFFAIR: An affair is usually something that is meant to be known only to the two individuals. Both the parties choose to be discreet about it and do not prefer talking about it or coming out in the open. There is also the fear of getting caught that lies at the core of an affair. Some people get thrilled by living such an emotion and is one of their big reasons to have an affair. Usually, there is an emotion of guilt that is always playing a role when it comes to an affair. That is why, you also hear the term called Extra-Marital Affair.

RELATIONSHIP: This is where emotions start getting involved. You start connecting with the other person on various levels: emotional, intellectual, romantic, physical etc. People call themselves in love when they are in a relationship and love is the core of this segment. People love going out for movies, dinners and dates and have no qualms in telling the world about their partner, their boyfriend/girlfriend. This is the phase when people are glowing and are the happiest. They look forward to the time that they would spend with their partner. 

MARRIAGE: This is the last part of a FARM. A lot of relationships gravitate towards this part and culminate into marriages. This is the part where legality also comes and starts playing a role. This is the part where individuals become an official couple by calling themselves husband and wife, which is like a seal of commitment. 

So friends, these four together represent the FARM and the question is “Which part of the FARM are you sitting at?”

Stages of Life through your Seating Position in the Car

The other day while I was driving my car and was stuck in bad traffic, I kept thinking about the amount of time of our lives that we spend in the car and what struck me was that for every age of our life, we sit in different seating positions in the car and with different sets of people.

It is just that life passes by us so fast that we never see the significance of this or how the dots connect very nicely.

Let me make an attempt to put down how an ideal person’s (male) age and stages of life evolves depending on the seat that he is occupying in the car:

Ages 1- 4: You sit in the front seat on the mother’s lap with the father driving the car and you watch the world around with curiosity.

Ages 5 – 16: You have now moved to the back of the car while being driven and you ask lots of questions to your parents as this is the time of building your identity during the course of these years.

Ages 16 – 18: This is a stage of occupying the driver’s seat with the father on the passenger’s seat giving driving lessons to the son/daughter. This is a frustrating time as every mistake of yours while driving the car can get reprimanded by your father.

Ages 18 – 20: Now you have reached an age where you proudly drive the car with a gang of friends and great music blaring from the stereo. This is the feeling of ‘Cool’.

Ages 20 – 22: This is when you sit in the driver’s seat with the father in the passenger’s seat and mother in the back seat. This is when the responsibility of taking them everywhere comes to you and you love that as you get to drive the car on every occasion.

Ages 23 – 26: Driving the car with your girlfriend sitting next to you. This is the time where the enjoyment is not in the driving but in the fact that you have got a beautiful person sitting next to you. You feel as the luckiest and happiest person on this planet.

Ages 26 – 28: You buy your first car from your own money and it is the proudest moment for you at that point of time in life. You take your parents out in the new car and notice their pride. You take your girlfriend/fiancé out in your new car and love the beaming look on her face. This is the stage in life when you feel that life is perfect for you.

Ages 28 – 29: Driving the car with your wife next to you. This is a great period as you have got married recently and together as a couple you want to check out lot of new restaurants in town, watch all the good movies and make every weekend a great and enjoyable weekend.

Ages 29 - 30: Radio is your morning companion as your tread through traffic, all alone on a daily basis trying to reach to your place of work. This is the stage by when you have driven enough that you hate driving to office daily and you know that it is really not the drive that you hate but the pain of using clutch and brake after every two minutes in the crazy office hour traffic that really puts you off.

Ages 29 – 31: The car usually involves two couples: your best friend and his wife along with your wife and you. All of you feel that it is great fun to go out either for a weekend trip or for a nice dinner with a bunch of friends.

Ages 31 – 33: Once again you are behind the wheels with your wife seated next to you but this time she has got your kid on her lap on the front seat exactly the way you had once been in that seat during the ages of 1 – 4.

Ages 34 – 45: This is a stage when a person is doing really well in life especially with regards to his professional career. This is the time of moving back to the back seat and handing over the keys to a chauffeur who will ensure that you can utilise your time better while seated behind. In most cases, this time the car that you are sitting in is not the first car that you had bought.

From age 34 onwards, during the time that you are not heading to office, it is a repeat of all the ages mentioned above, but this time you are playing the role of a father and your kid is playing the role of you.