MEETING MEN AND WOMEN ON A FARM

Relationship status messages on Facebook, matrimonial sites, dating apps…they are all there around us. If you are single or even if you are not, choices exist for you if you are willing to put in the time and effort that comes along with it. 

Today men and women or even people of the same sex can meet each other through various platforms and see what they can make of these meetings/dates/rendezvous, call it whatever you want. 

Depending on what you are looking for, you can decide on which part of the FARM do you want to be. FARM. Did I just mention FARM? Have I lost it? Till a paragraph back, I was talking about men and women and how they can mingle with each other through various platforms and then suddenly why would I be talking about an agricultural piece of land FARM?

Now now, before you start thinking that I am drunk in the afternoon, let me explain myself. Basis my understanding and observation of human behavior, I have come across four levels at which people want to connect with someone else. I have put these four into a term that I call FARM.

So what does FARM entail? 

FARM consists of a Fling, Affair, Relationship and Marriage.

Different people at different point in their lives choose one of these parts of a FARM. Sometimes it is the same two people who are on different parts of the FARM but quite often, one of the two individuals are different at different parts of the farm. 

How do I further classify these parts and what distinguishes one from the other?

FLING: A fling is a short term event or incident. It usually lasts for a few days and extends sometimes to a month or so. In most cases, a fling has lust at its core unless it starts with the honest intention of a relationship, but due to circumstances or reasons it ends much earlier and ends up being a fling. Quite often, both the individuals knowingly get into a fling, where usually terms like ‘No Strings Attached’ are also heard. I am sure that all you readers are smart individuals and I do not need to explain a fling any further. 

AFFAIR: An affair is usually something that is meant to be known only to the two individuals. Both the parties choose to be discreet about it and do not prefer talking about it or coming out in the open. There is also the fear of getting caught that lies at the core of an affair. Some people get thrilled by living such an emotion and is one of their big reasons to have an affair. Usually, there is an emotion of guilt that is always playing a role when it comes to an affair. That is why, you also hear the term called Extra-Marital Affair.

RELATIONSHIP: This is where emotions start getting involved. You start connecting with the other person on various levels: emotional, intellectual, romantic, physical etc. People call themselves in love when they are in a relationship and love is the core of this segment. People love going out for movies, dinners and dates and have no qualms in telling the world about their partner, their boyfriend/girlfriend. This is the phase when people are glowing and are the happiest. They look forward to the time that they would spend with their partner. 

MARRIAGE: This is the last part of a FARM. A lot of relationships gravitate towards this part and culminate into marriages. This is the part where legality also comes and starts playing a role. This is the part where individuals become an official couple by calling themselves husband and wife, which is like a seal of commitment. 

So friends, these four together represent the FARM and the question is “Which part of the FARM are you sitting at?”

Is Social Networking feeding our Narcissism?

I have been wanting to blog on this topic for weeks but the very topic I want to blog about would suck me into its whirlpool every now and then so strongly that getting out of its hold would be next to impossible. Yes, social networking has that power! 

Research after research throws up the same thing – every person loves a few words of appreciation, a pat on the back, an acknowledgement of the great work he/she is doing. When one does not get this, one’s motivation levels tend to go down, whether it is at work, home or any other place. 

Enter Social Networking. A phenomenon that has taken the world by storm. Why is it so? Is it because it allows people to connect with each other? No, there are phone calls for that. Is it because it allows one to give work update to others? No, there are emails for that. 

Then what is the reason? 

It is simply because social networking is an ego boosting mechanism, which allows your narcissism to grow manifold by feeding it regularly and yet making it crave for more and more. 

Every like that your status message generates on Facebook, every comment that your picture gathers and every new follower that you accumulate on Twitter are nothing but food for the narcissist inside each one of us. 

No wonder after every post that we upload, there is this constant urge to check the network regularly to see if anyone has liked it or not or has it generated a conversation or a mention or not or has it been retweeted or not. 

It is once again the veil of narcissism that allows us to celebrate every new follower, who most of the times is a stranger, who we do not know but yet are happy to have him or her follow us. This is the same reason bots are seen as useless but yet relevant, simply because they add up to the numbers and make us feel important in this crazy world. 

Today, even our styles of holidays and vacations have changed completely. It is more about capturing the right kind of pictures that can be shared with friends and get comments rather than sitting back and enjoying the view available to us. Every picture that is clicked is also checked and evaluated to see its potential to be shared and is deleted and clicked again if it is not worth sharing. 

The reality is that we may get bored and move from one social network to the other as we had done from Orkut to Facebook, but as long as the narcissism in us exists, social networking will continue to thrive and dominate a large part of our lives. 

Now I need to rush and quickly upload this post, so that the link of the same can be shared with all. My narcissistic hunger beckons! 

STATUS MESSAGES AND TWEETS

Status messages and tweets have become a part of our lives. People even say that they are nothing but mere extensions of our personalities. I don’t agree with this at all. Well, neither is this completely true nor is this completely false. This is partially true.

The reason I say this is partially true is because of the simple reason that there are some people for whom status messages are actually the extension of their personalities whereas for some other people it is just a way of projecting a personality which they really don’t have. For some others, some of their status messages reflect their personalities whereas some other of their status messages do not. In fact, in today’s times when one has a different status message on Facebook and a different one on their Blackberry Messenger and a completely different one on Twitter, it is just not possible for all these statuses/tweets to reflect ones’ personality unless someone suffers from split or triple personality.

What is clear is that there is a reason or an objective behind each of these status messages or in other words the person has certain expectations when he puts some of these messages. The objective could be hiding a cryptic message in the status which only he or a select few can understand. In such cases, these messages are no less than the Da Vinci code… only people who understand would respond or comment on such a status. The other objective of a status could be simply showing one’s creativity and getting a high by noticing how many people like such a status. Sometimes people put up a status/tweet just to vent out their anger against a person, system, company, society or any other thing. Some other times the idea of putting up a message is to open up a discussion or a debate with others. Sometimes when one has been missing in action for a long time, then just to remind people that he/she exists, a status message is put up.

The reason of putting up a status or a tweet could be one or many but the truth is that each status or tweet desires a conversation as it tells the one who has put it that in this widespread social network, where there are loads of friends, followers and contacts, there are atleast a few who have read what they had to say.

I won’t be surprised if few years down the line psychologists, criminal experts and psychiatrists start analysing status messages and tweets along with the body language to figure out more about a person, but the way body language can deceive, these messages can deceive much more… so lets see!!