RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE PLANTS

Relationships are like plants. They need to be nurtured. The way plants need right amount of sunlight, water, fertilisers, soil, etc., similarly, relationships also need right amount of love, understanding and space.

When taken good care of, plants develop strong roots that gives them stability and strength. Same is the case with relationships. If proper care is given to the relationship, it becomes more rooted to ensure the turmoils that will try to come and uproot it.

Plants take in carbon dioxide and give out oxygen. Often, relationships also do that, where one of the partners takes in all the bad things of the other and yet gives out all the love that he/she has.

Plants prove that they have been taken good care of either by continuing to grow more or by bearing flowers and fruits. Relationships also prove that they are being nurtured properly when the people involved in it continue to be happy and their happiness increases more and more. They love each other more when they know that the relationship is being taken good care of.

Plants react very strongly when you put more water than required or your forget to put water or when they receive more than desired sunlight. Similarly, relationships also react when the amount of love is less, there is no space given to the individuals or there are too many misunderstandings.

Sometimes, one goes out of town and when one comes back, one needs to give immediate to the plants as they have not been cared for. Same holds good for relationships. In order to keep it alive, one needs to keep doing a reality check often so that they know that when a relationship needs more attention to keep it going.

Lastly, plants tend to wither when it gets neglected, when there is no-one to tender each and every leaf of it. Relationships also die when the people involved in it neglect each other or do not take care of each and every need of the other.

STATUS MESSAGES AND TWEETS

Status messages and tweets have become a part of our lives. People even say that they are nothing but mere extensions of our personalities. I don’t agree with this at all. Well, neither is this completely true nor is this completely false. This is partially true.

The reason I say this is partially true is because of the simple reason that there are some people for whom status messages are actually the extension of their personalities whereas for some other people it is just a way of projecting a personality which they really don’t have. For some others, some of their status messages reflect their personalities whereas some other of their status messages do not. In fact, in today’s times when one has a different status message on Facebook and a different one on their Blackberry Messenger and a completely different one on Twitter, it is just not possible for all these statuses/tweets to reflect ones’ personality unless someone suffers from split or triple personality.

What is clear is that there is a reason or an objective behind each of these status messages or in other words the person has certain expectations when he puts some of these messages. The objective could be hiding a cryptic message in the status which only he or a select few can understand. In such cases, these messages are no less than the Da Vinci code… only people who understand would respond or comment on such a status. The other objective of a status could be simply showing one’s creativity and getting a high by noticing how many people like such a status. Sometimes people put up a status/tweet just to vent out their anger against a person, system, company, society or any other thing. Some other times the idea of putting up a message is to open up a discussion or a debate with others. Sometimes when one has been missing in action for a long time, then just to remind people that he/she exists, a status message is put up.

The reason of putting up a status or a tweet could be one or many but the truth is that each status or tweet desires a conversation as it tells the one who has put it that in this widespread social network, where there are loads of friends, followers and contacts, there are atleast a few who have read what they had to say.

I won’t be surprised if few years down the line psychologists, criminal experts and psychiatrists start analysing status messages and tweets along with the body language to figure out more about a person, but the way body language can deceive, these messages can deceive much more… so lets see!!

POSSIBLE CARTELS IN THE WORLD

In today’s times, there is so much of inter-linkages between sectors/companies/countries that an activity or an event at one place can lead to the benefit of the other. I was just wondering that if some of these people decided to come together, they could easily form a cartel and ride on these joint benefits that would accrue.

Following are some of the possible cartels that my crazy mind could think of:

1. On-ground and on-air aviation cartel: Cartel between shops at the airport and aircraft carriers – Try and delay each and every flight by atleast half an hour to an hour. This would obviously give lot of time in the hands of passengers and would result in additional sales at the airport as some hungry ones would go to the restaurants, the tired ones would get a massage done, the bored ones would probably pick up a book or so and the ones with still some dough left would finish last minute shopping at the airport. While the airport stores stand to gain, not sure whether flights would gain anything or not by paying the high ground parking charges unless the retail chains at the airport agree to share the parking charges

2. Web and the Eye Cartel: Cartel between Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and other social networking sites and opticians- Make the content more and more interesting and get people to spend more time on each of the sites. Spending more time would mean spending more time looking at the screen and that would lead to eye strain and other eye problems for which people would have to go to opticians, so it is a win-win for everyone. The web sites would get more advertisers due to their stickiness and it would mean great business for the opticians.

3. Indian wedding and international honeymoon cartel: There are a few dates/months in the Indian calendar every year, when most weddings take place and nowadays a lot of Indians get their wedding fixed by a wedding planner. This is followed by a honeymoon to international destinations like Mauritius, Bali, Malaysia, etc. for a number of new couples. One way of forming this cartel is to for international hotels/airlines to tie-up with the Indian wedding planner, whose job is right from arranging for flowers, deciding a theme, getting wedding cards printed to suggesting interesting countries to couples for their honeymoon.

All a wedding planner has to do to convince a couple is to show some great pictures of the country, the hotel and the special honeymoon suite that he/she can arrange for at a great rate. Throw in a limo pick-up and the new husband would want to give that experience to his new wife. The hotels and airlines recommended by the wedding planner beat competition as the trust in this wedding planner is immensely high. This allows the hotels/airlines to tap into the right profile of customers and the money that they save on advertising can be used to make the wedding planner ‘plan’ the right honeymoon for the couples.

4. Indian and Chinese toy/mobile phone cartel: Chinese goods have made a number of small Indian dealers rich on one hand, but on the other hand, it has also hit a large number of Indian companies making Indian products and selling it in India. One of the possible cartels could be that these Indian companies pay the Chinese companies their margins on these products, buy these products and destroy them. Then they sell their products in the Indian markets at healthy margins (which covers for what they are paying to the Chinese). This will be a win-win for the Chinese manufacturers as well as the Indian manufacturers. The people who would lose out due to such a cartel would be the small dealers who make money by selling these Chinese goods and the consumers who buy Chinese goods regularly at half the prices of what they have to pay for the Indian goods. 

But then who said that cartels are supposed to be beneficial to all. In fact, the word CARTEL is supposed to mean that only. While it benefits a few groups of people/companies/sectors, there will always be another set who will bear the brunt of such a cartel.

I am sure that this way there can be a number of cartels that can be formed. One just needs to sit and look around and see the possibilities. What cartels come to your mind? Do let me know.

Imagination

I-ma-gi-na-tion: It is a five syllable word and the dictionary defines Imagination as the faculty of forming mental images or concepts of what is not actually present to the senses.

If you look at the number of syllables, the pronunciation or the dictionary definition of this word, all of it make it seem very difficult and complicated but reality could not be further than this.

Imagination is a feeling or an emotion that is present in each and every one of us. In fact, I would like to define imagination as the act of letting your mind loose and wild , letting it run amok to come up with something unique that can be called exclusively your own creation.

If one wants to see the full power of imagination and its ability, one should just give blank pieces of paper to kids and ask them to draw/paint what they want to. You will be amazed at how different each sheet of paper will look – be it the situations, the characters, the colours that they choose. This is nothing but sheer evidence that imagination is present right from childhood.

I remember reading about a research that was done between two groups – one group comprised of kids and the other group comprised of adults. Both the groups were shown an image of a black dot in the centre of a piece and were asked what it was. As expected, the adult group unanimously answered that it is a black dot. On the other hand, the responses from each kid were different and diverse. While one kid saw the black dot as a tiny burger, the other saw it as a fly that has been killed while the third said that it is one eye and rest of the face needs to be made.

What this proves is that imagination is extremely wild and open when we are kids as we are not bound by practicality, rules, boundaries and expectations and as we grow up, we tend to curb our power of imagination and use it only to a limited extent.

Imagination is not something that needs to be taught or learnt. It is inherent in us. There can of course be channels to whet this imagination further or allow it to get bound by certain boundary conditions so that it does not wander.

One of the ways of checking what imagination can do within a certain boundary is to give the same book to read to 10 different people and then ask them to describe the two main characters or plot of the book. In this case, despite a boundary condition of a book, all 10 people will have a different way of interpreting the character – his looks, his clothes, where he stays and so and so forth.

As a marketer, I often hear that in order for companies to succeed, innovation has to be at the forefront of their strategy. No innovation can be possible without imagination as any new idea, concept or design needs imagination of the mind for something new to materialize.

I would like to conclude that as adults, it is important that we don’t let our imaginative faculties die or come down. People should find ways and means to keep their minds open. Reading Edward De Bono’s Lateral Thinking is just one of those ways. There are many others too…one just has to open one’s mind to see and find it.

GOA? OH LUCKY YOU!

“Are you going to Goa?”, I asked a friend of mine when he told me that he is off to a holiday to have some fun and frolic in the sand. My eyes got excited when he said yes he was indeed going to Goa. I ended up saying “Oh lucky you!”. That is the power and the beauty of Goa.


Very few places have the ability to do that. The ability of invoking a strong desire within you wishing that you were there or that you could go along. Goa has that ability. It can evoke emotions of jealousy and envy when you are going to be stuck in the same city, slogging your ass when the person in front of you will be living it up in Goa in a few days.

What is completely amazing about Goa is that it has certain memories/pictures/perception attached to it for each and every person. For people who have been there once or more than once, the word Goa brings all those images back like a montage and there is an automatic smile and a feeling of flashback for them. For people who have never been to Goa, there is a strong sense of perception/imagination as to how the place is and how the experience of going to Goa will be, formed largely by what they have seen in films/television or through pictures posted on Facebook or shared with them by their friends who have visited it.

Goa is not the only town with beaches and great hotels. There are other places also across the country which may be having better or more beautiful beaches, but the brand image of this place is so strongly entrenched in the minds of people that when one mentions a great experience of sun, sand and sea, it is only Goa that comes to mind.

Putting down this blog has taken me down memory lane and as I write this all I can think of is when would I be on the other side being asked “Are you going to Goa” and on my yes the reply I would get would be “Oh lucky you!”

IF EACH SPORT WAS A WOMAN, WHAT RELATIONSHIP WOULD I HAVE WITH THEM

As the title of this blog suggests, I have let my imagination go a little wild and allowed to indulge myself by thinking each sport to be a woman. By this imaginative logic, let me tell you that I have known lot of guys, who could easily qualify as Casanovas, as they have had all kinds of women falling for them, which means that they have excelled in each and every sport that they have played in their lives.


If I were to talk about myself in this regards, then I guess, people would call me a compulsive flirt – trying my hands/legs at each and every sport…getting lucky (to be read as ‘managing decently well’) in some and realizing that some are not meant for me.

After lot of thinking, analysis, and introspection I have been able to put my relationship status with each of these women and each one is/was actually at a different stage of relationship in my life.

So without talking any more, here goes my relationship status, which I am today openly putting in front of the entire world:

Carrom: Would call my relationship with this as that of ‘puppy love’. Fell for it at a very young age….we overgrew each other over the years. There is still fondness for her but its more of a caring kind, which says that “Don’t worry, when no one is there to support you, I will always be there”.

Basketball: There was something about her that made me go after her. You can call it instant attraction. We saw each other for some time, but our relationship had its ups and downs. We broke up, then got together again, then broke up again to once again get together. Finally, we realised that there is a compatibility issue between us and there is no point in continuing like this. We parted ways amicably, though even today, whenever we meet we have a good time.

Skateboarding: When you are 17 and you just enter college and the entire college is crazy after one girl, you also go after her in the hope that you may get a chance to talk to her. Once you have managed to speak to her and things start falling in place, you have great pride in walking across the campus with her to show her off and to make others jealous. Skateboarding was that woman for me and it allowed me to flaunt what I had got.

Volleyball: We were going good for a few years and all looked good, but then she asked for a commitment and I was not ready for that. We had to say good bye to each other, though both of us know that whenever we meet, the attraction will come back.

Football: When you have just entered your teens and you rebellious nature is just coming out, you like to be with someone who is a tomboy and who also has a rebellious and aggressive nature. Football was that tomboy for me. She knew my state of mind during those years and she helped me in controlling my aggression. We knew we are just helping each other and later in the day, we will just move on. That is what happened.

Table Tennis: This is a woman I have been having a very long term relationship with. We have been seeing each other for almost 14 years now, though we were not together in the middle for 3 – 4 years, but we realised that we can’t stay without each other and we came back together. I can easily say that she has been my rock steady partner. She understands me and my temperament and allows me to be myself…totally uninhibited and I like it that way.

In between my long term relationship with Table Tennis, I have been with other partners also and have also had some flings. In fact, there is a clear understanding of mine with Table Tennis that we will meet other potential partners also, even though we are together so that we know at the end of the day that we chose to be with each other only because others were not fit for us. This is my status with other partners:

Cricket: I have a long-distance relationship with her. We meet once a year and get updated about each others’ lives. There is nothing more to it as we know that our futures are not connected.

Lawn Tennis: We have just started dating each other some time back and these are early days. We are trying to know each other, understand each other’s personalities, likes and dislikes. Right now, I can say that I look forward to my weekend dates with her. Let’s see how it goes from here.

Badminton: The relationship with badminton is kind-of complicated. We don’t meet each other very often and we have not broken up also. Both of us are busy in our lives and in meeting other partners that we don’t miss each other so much. But, whenever there is no one else, we tend to come together. I guess both of us like it that way.

Swimming: What do I say about her? She says she is not into relationships at all. She is just looking for a bonding… does not want to call it a relationship… is just happy that I drop in whenever I can. She has no demands and no expectations. I would call her the silent lover.

This sums up my relationship history with all these beautiful women that I have been lucky to have met in my life. Each one has made moments of life beautiful and I would like to thank each one of them in making me what I am today.

English Language - Laziness or Sheer lack of creativity?

People often say that English is a funny language, where words that are spelt similarly are pronounced differently and the classic example that comes to mind is that of the words ‘to’ and ‘go’, which are very aptly pointed out by Dharmender in the classic comedy Chupke Chupke.

In fact, it is also said that the complexity of the Engilsh language is also evident from the fact that similar sounding words are spelt differently and have completely different meanings eg – Sea and see, there and their.

I however have a completely different take on the English language and its creator. In fact, as far as I see it, all the complexities and oddities pointed out above are a result of the lack of creativity or just plain laziness of the creator. That is the reason two differently spelt words have similar pronunciations and two similar looking words are pronounced differently.

Let me put across a few more points in favour of my argument and my hypothesis. The creator of the English language has very conveniently given just one word ‘You’ to address all people irrespective of age, authority, etc., whereas in comparison, the Hindi language is extremely worked out in detail, where we have words like Aap, Tum and Tu for different kind of people depending on the relationship, age and seniority.

The English language creator did not even explore various relationships in detail and has conveniently given us a few common relationships to be used. Let’s just compare the English term for a relation and its Hindi counterpart options for the same relation, where the name of the relation changes basis which side of the family he/she is. Here is a list of all those relations:

Grandfather and Grandmother: Dada/Nana and Nani/Dadi

Uncle and Aunt: Tauji/Chachaji/Phuphaji/Masaji/Mama/Kaka and Taiji/Chachiji/Bua/Masi/Mami/Kaki

Brother-in-law: Jijaji/Saala/Behnoi

Sister-in-law: Bhabhi/Nanand/Jethani/Devrani


Basis all the above examples shared, I would like to conclude that the creator of the English language either lacked creativity or was plain lazy, whereas on the other hand, the creator of the Hindi language went into complete detail and gave us names for every relation so that the warmth of a relationship is much stronger. With this I rest my case.

Emotions of Change

‘Change is the only constant’ is an oft repeated and heard term. Yes, it is true that change is inevitable. Anyone living on this planet is constantly a part of some change that is taking place though he/she may not be involved directly in that change.

In fact, movement from day to night and from one month to the other is nothing but a change. Some of these changes tend to become a part of our normal life and then they are not seen as change any more but rather seen as part of a daily routine.

Through this blog, I want to talk about the emotions that go inside one’s heart and mind on few of the relevant changes that take place in one’s life.

Let me put down some of the big changes and the emotions that come with it:

Change of role: This normally means that either one has got promoted or one has moved from one function to the other or one brand to the other. The kind of emotion that one feels with this change is that of a sense of bigger responsibility. There is also the feeling that one has to perform very welll to once again prove to everyone in the organisation that the role given to one is completely apt, so there is a sense of eagerness and keenness in accepting the change.

Emotions: Sense of responsibility, Feeling of challenge as well victory, Eagerness

Change of house: The emotion that one feels when this change is taking place is that of positivity as one is looking at a bright future ahead. One has already started thinking as to what will he buy to decorate the house and make it have an identity and personality that matches with the people staying in it.

Emotions: Positivity, Bright

Change of city: One normally changes his city for education or better job opportunities. This change has feelings of excitement and curiosity as one is keen to explore and understand the new city, its culture, its language and its finer nuances.

Emotions: Curiosity, Excitement

Change of partner: When there is a change of partner, what that means is that one has had a partner in the past also and for some reason things did not work out. So initially, the emotions would have been that of depression, mistrust, failure but when you are just getting involved with a new partner, the emotions that come alive are that of anticipation of future, excitement, elation, anxiety

Emotions: Anticipation, Excitement, Elation

Change of marital status: Change of marital status in this context means someone losing his bachelorhood to enter a married life. The emotions that come with this change are that of apprehension, anticipation, excitement, happiness, delight

Emotions: Joy, excitement, delight, thrill

Change of job: Change of job brings in two sets of emotions. One is that of positivity and brightness due to improvement in life and lifestyle with a better opportunity. The other set of emotions emerge from the thought of joining a completely new place with new people, which brings in emotions like anxiety, anticipation, eagerness, inquisitiveness, etc.

Emotions: Trepidation, anxiety, eagerness

As is evident from above, there are a number of big changes that one goes through in one’s life but each change brings its own set of emotions – some experienced before and some being experienced for the first time.

That is why it makes sense when someone says ‘Feel the change’.

THE NEW AGE TOFY CULTURE

Just imagine this conversation between a young boy and his father:


“Dad, I want a TOFY”.

“Which one do you want: Orange or Red?”.

“No Dad, I am not talking about toffee. I want TOFY on my laptop and my phone.”


A similar conversation taking place in an organisation:

Employee to the IT Guy: “Hey please give me TOFY. It is important for my work.”

IT Guy: “Sorry Sir, we cannot give it to you.”

Employee: “Dude, in this age, if I do not have TOFY I will lose out as all my competitors are using TOFY to their advantage. Please understand.”

So what is this new age TOFY that I am talking about, which is creating buzz all around across age groups? Actually, it is something you and I use regularly, but I just thought that if four of them decided to come together and do a joint venture or a package for users, this is how they would possibly brand themselves or call their company: TOFY

Without keeping the suspense any longer, I am talking about Twitter, Orkut, Facebook and Youtube (TOFY). These four social networking/video sharing sites are ruling our worlds to a large extent and in today’s time there is not too many people who are not using atleast one of these four. In fact, in most cases the average would be two and for people like me it is all four.

I got a sense of the strength of this when one fine day I got a request of wanting to become a friend and it was from none other than my mother, who stays in a different city. I was shocked, surprised but happy that not only had she become a part of this TOFY culture but had also managed to understand this phenomenon and seen its relevance to connect with people. Within a week of that, I got requests from two other aunts staying in other cities who had never ever used a computer before that in their lives. Now I was convinced that the power of this is unmatchable as it got three women, who had not bothered to ever know that there is a Mouse in our lives other than the one they get scared of were now connecting with their relatives and also their long lost friends. What was also pleasant to know was that in all the three cases, it was one of their kids who had got them onto the site, made them understand what it can do for them and get them over the fear of this monster called a Computer. It clearly also showed that with the TOFY culture, kids are now open and accepting their parents into their world without any inhibitions. Comments like “Proud to have you here Mom” strengthen this hypothesis further.

So why do I think that it should be called TOFY and not something else. If I were to draw parallels between the toffee that we used to relish as kids and this TOFY, you will surprised to know that there are many similarities:

1. Toffees and TOFY allow us to form special bonds with our friends

2. While it was parents who got toffees for their kids, it is the kids who are now getting parents into TOFY

3. The experience of both kinds is sweet.

4. You never get tired of having one more. In fact, it is like an addiction.

5. Both come in all sizes, colours and flavours (of life).

6. Companies use both to their advantage. Branding, selling and consumer promotion of toffees and using TOFY is the digital marketing medium.

7. There are lot of options available. You need to choose your pick.

So if the founders of any one of the four are reading this and do take this forward, please remember where the royalty for this thought and the brand name needs to go :)

I am off as I have got another task at hand. Dad has never enjoyed toffees. It will be a tough task to get him to enjoy this TOFY as well….

Had gone for a market visit to Rai Bareilly. Stopped over to have lunch in a decent looking restaurant. Asked for the menu card and was suprised to see the choices of soup available. Was just not able to figure out what the first option meant. The third one was easy to guess, though worthy of a laugh. After a day, when I shared this picture with my father-in-law, he solved the dilemma for me. The first option was   'Hot and Sour' soup. As simple as that. Could not help laughing and rolling on the floor.

This was not all. When I turned to the next page, I was surprised to see the choices of Thalis available. Dinesh thali??? How would one guess what is that supposed to contain? You go a little down and what you see is a list of ice-creams that are available, but what is written next to it in bold ink with pen is 'Nahin hai'. Seemed like a warning that you dare not ask about this, while placing the order. The last masterpiece in this whole thing was the last option of ice-cream available or rather not available. Kanato.... hmmm.... sounds very Italian... oh no.. it is nothing but good old Cornetto.....but isn't that a specific brand? Well go figure is my only response. Hope all you guys have a good laugh on this one the way I had it.                                                                                                            

DRIVERS AND THEIR ROLE IN A JOURNEY – TIPS TO REMEMBER

How good or bad your road journey has been can depend to a large extent on the kind of driver you had for that journey. This is especially true when you are going for a long road journey of more than 4 hours and involves travel outside the city. These are the times when one hires a cab or arranges for a private car to take you to your destination.

Over the last so many years across different parts of the country, I have travelled in hired cars – sometimes alone, sometimes with family and sometimes with friends and while each person present in the car can make your journey a pleasant or bitter one, the driver of such a car is equally important. Let me put down a few kinds of drivers that I have come across these journeys to make my point more clearly.

‘Tum toh thehre pardesi’ driver: Had come across this driver almost 10 years back when my family and I had gone for a holiday to Himachal Pradesh and we had hired a Sumo. This is the time when audio cassettes still ruled the roost in these cabs and Altaf Raja had just come out with his album ‘Tum toh thehre pardesi’. The driver just had one cassette and we had to hear this song and all the other songs of Altaf Raja atleast 3 – 4 times. There are a number of such drivers who will have their favourite music but that is not what you would want to hear. 

Tip: Carry lot of music of your choice. 

‘I have a story to tell’ driver: Have come across these kinds of drivers quite often. Either they will initiate a discussion with you or once you have done a small chat with them, they will just start off, sharing everything from their life history, their family details, career graph to anecdotes. He will also act as your guide if you are visiting some places for the first time. Such drivers can be great fun when you want to while away your time during the journey but can sometimes be painful if you are really not enjoying what they are saying or are simply not interested.

Tip: Make a few phone calls on the phone when travelling alone or start talking about something with your co-passenger when you want him to shut up.

‘Moody’ driver: This is the worst kind of driver to have when you are doing a long journey. This guy will not smile, will answer to your questions in mono-syllables, will show his irritation when you want to stop for a break or want to be out till late. 

Tip: Specify to the travel agent to send you a jovial guy and in case you are not lucky, just bear him and do not try to argue with him…. He has to bring you back and his mood becoming worse is just not good for you and your journey ahead.

‘Speed thrills’ driver: This driver can bring your food back into your mouth, especially when he is speeding at top most speed on dangerous hair bend curves on the Ghats. I guess not only do they get the thrill from their speed but also enjoy the scared faces of their passengers.

Tip: Warn him that you or someone else suffers from motion sickness and will throw up in the car if he speeds like this and see the toning down effect on Schumacher.

‘Drive slow on the highways but double your speed in the city on your return’ driver: He is the concerned driver who will not go beyond 80 km on freeways to maintain the average of his car. You can tell him to speed up or force him to go faster but he will not budge. You accept this speed as his nature and live with it. The same driver suddenly forgets all about averages and becomes a transformed man as soon as he enters the city roads on your return trip. Maybe it is the hurry to reach home, but makes you feel that he will cover up all the lost time by driving like this in the city.

Tip: Enjoy the drive as there is nothing much that you can do about this.

‘Honking is my birth right’ driver: These kind of drivers take the sign behind trucks ‘OK. Horn Please’ literally and follow it to the maximum at every opportunity. They will honk to the car in front on the red signal also, they will honk to every truck, bus and tractor in front, they will honk to the cow and the dog as well as the person walking on the left side of the road. Just to maintain their habit, they will even honk when there is nothing in front.. just in case.

Tip: Put in your earplugs and enjoy the music from your personal collection or be firm and tell him at the start that all this honking is giving a headache to you and he needs to stop.

‘You need to buy me tea after every one hour’ driver: This driver feels that the family will enjoy their holiday better if I stop at every dhaba for a cup of tea and anyways I need my tea. He will expect you to also want to have tea at every stop and will want you to pay for his tea everywhere. 

Tip: Before getting into the car after your second tea, tell him that your share of tea is over for the day now so lets go ahead without stopping. He will sulk a bit but will get the message. 

‘The music, speed and places will be of your choice…. I just need my Gutkha’ driver: This kind of a driver can be a pleasure. Most of the times his mouth will be filled with Gutkha, which he will keep refilling from time to time. He is perfectly alright to stop the car when you want, play the music you want and go to the places you like. Will speak when spoken to and when not chewing Gutkha. Will drive at a consistent pace. Will not want to stop for tea every now and then. 

Tip: No tip needed when you have such a driver.

There must have been a number of other driver personalities that I would have come across but these are the ones that I could remember, who played a critical role in building a certain experience for my journey.

15 Minutes of Fame

“In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes”, said the famous painter Andy Warhol in the year 1968. Today, more than 40 years later, he could not have been truer.

Today, with the proliferation of media and every channel having its own set of reality shows, almost everyone is trying his/her luck to get their 15 minutes or even 15 seconds of fame by coming on screen.

There is a plethora of options to choose from in terms of genre, in terms of programmes in one’s selected genre and in terms of channel for that genre. So if one is the adventurous type, then there are shows like ‘Roadies’ on MTV or ‘Iss Jungle se Mujhe Bachao’ on Sony. If one feels that he/she has the potential to be the next Lata Mangeshkar or Kishore Kumar, then there are shows like’ Indian Idol’,’ Sa Re Ga Ma’ and a number of other such singing shows. For people who think that they can shake a leg well, there are choices like ‘Dance India Dance’ and ‘Boogie Woogie’. If one enjoys the company and flirting of a large number of people of the opposite sex, then there is ‘Splitsvilla’ on MTV. For people looking for a fun yet adventurous date, the show is Dare to Date on V, for strategists and people who love mind games, there is The Player on V. Girls wanting to experience the glamour world have the option of ‘Get Gorgeous’ on V. Women who are keen to get married through a show by meeting the guy and his mother, there is The Perfect Bride on Star Plus, whereas for others who would like to get married to a celebrity, there is always a Swayamavar on NDTV Imagine happening for them. For the bullies, there is Dadagiri and for celebrities looking to change their lifestyle, there is ‘The Big Switch’.

As can be seen from a number of examples above, there is no shortage of opportunities. One just needs to decide on which genre and which programme does one want to make a mark for himself. A lot of them have even devised ways to hold the camera to them a little more longer – be it abusing at the drop of a hat, breaking into fights and arguments, flirting or doing something completey absurd and hilarious.

With all of this happening at such a frenetic pace all around us, what is surprising is that while people who do not end up in the finals or become winners are forgotten very soon, but in most cases, even the finalists and winners are nowhere to be seen as soon as the show gets over. Few examples that come to mind are the winners of Indian Idol 2 and 3 (have even forgotten their names), Rahul Roy from Big Boss, Salman (winner of last year’s Dance India Dance). The list is longer than that. What is worse is that even after being victorious, a large number of them are still struggling to manage to get a stable foothold in the big bad world of entertainment.

The big question that comes to my mind is that is this quest and run for the 15 minutes of fame worth it all, if after that one cannot sustain oneself and one does not even know what what hit him after feeling that everything was going right for him and the entire world had become his oyster? Would conclude with this thought.

IDENTIFYING MARKETS AND OPPORTUNITIES - TRUE LEARNING FROM SMALL BUT ENTERPRISING PEOPLE

Every company wants to expand its presence by reaching out to new markets or by identifying more opportunities where their brand can be relevant in the lives of consumers and thereby increase its sales further.

Every year, companies and employees spend hours and hours of time and hundreds of thousands of rupees to source and analyse data so as to identify the right markets and right opportunities to get maximum bang for their buck. Companies even partner with a number of agencies to ensure that they get enough information to ensure that the markets and opportunities that they have identified is based on sound logic and data.

While there is nothing wrong in this approach that companies take, but what is amazing is that there are a number of people, who I would like to call small entrepreneurs who are able to identify such markets and opportunities without relying on any data, any analysis or any third party agencies.

Let me list down some of these small but enterprising people who look for that one opportunity, whether big or small just to earn a little more and improve their life a little more:

1) Autos: Auto drivers are the most enterprising lot and I mean it in a very positive sense. They know exactly where is a party, event or dinner happening in any part of the town and they ensure that they are present there to not let go of such an opportunity. One just needs to visit some of the night clubs on a Saturday night or a big wedding party outside a 5 star hotel or a late night movie show in a multiplex and as soon as you come out, there will be a number of autos ready to take one home.

2) Balloon sellers/Ice-cream sellers: This is the other group of enterprising people who will know where the next opportunity is for them and they will ensure that they reach there. Besides the regular picnic spots, these people know where is the big cricket match happening or which part of the town is a wedding taking place and they will be there right outside such venues.

3) Small trader in rural Melas (Fairs): Every rural Mela has a few stalls which sell items that women generally don’t get easily in their villages. You will see a stall selling fairness creams, small mirrors, bright colour bangles, plastic jewellery or any such item that will attract women in droves to that stall. Moreover, this entrepreneur will put up things that he can afford to price at attractive prices of Rs. 10, Rs. 20 or so so that everyone finds something or the other for herself. Once again, what is worth noting in the case of these traders is that they know very well where the next Mela is taking place in all the close by towns and they will be present in the next Mela with another set of exciting things.

4) Temple paraphernalia sellers: While people who have set up their merchandise outside temples do not move from there, what is very interesting is that if there is any new temple that is being built, there will be a set of entrepreneurs who will set up their space and their merchandise outside a new temple just before it opens so that as soon as the temple opens its doors to its devotees, there is a ready market and opportunity for such entrepreneurs.

5) Sellers at the signals: These are people who have more or less identified and short-listed their markets and keep looking for high gain opportunities. For such people, seasons and occasions play a critical role. That is the reason one sees such enterprising people selling Santa caps closer to Christmas, small flags near 15th Aug and woollen earplugs in winter.

6) Eunuchs: This is another group, who identifies its markets and opportunities in an extremely smooth manner and ensures its presence at such times to make the most out of it. In fact, this is one group which cannot rely on one market or one opportunity for too long (in most cases, just once) and for them finding the right place on a daily basis not only becomes a core competency but also becomes a critical success factor.

This, of course is not an exhaustive list and if one were to think, one would be able to list down a few other such kinds of people as well.

What needs to be taken out of this is that while one is looking at the data, one also needs to look beyond the data and scratch the surface a bit as the opportunity maybe lurking right around the corner but we may not be exploiting it due to lack of data or confirmation from a third party.

PERSONALITIES FROM THE CONVEYOR BELT

In my last few travels, I have started doing a very interesting thing. I look at the luggage that is coming on the conveyor belt and try to place who it will belong to by trying to match the kind/style of luggage with a similar kind of person standing and waiting for it.

You might think what a crazy thing to do but it a very interesting test of your observation and analysis. Obviously I don’t end up guessing right always but you feel really happy and excited when the luggage gets picked up by exactly the same person you have guessed it belongs to.

The approach in doing this exercise is to identify a particular piece of luggage and then start looking for a person to whom such a luggage would belong to. Let me try and put down how I go about matching the two:

1) If there is a funky and colourful looking bag coming on the conveyor belt, I will try to look for a young, trendy college-going girl to whom the luggage would possibly belong.

2) If there is a huge and bulky Samsonite kind of a suitcase on the belt, I would look for two different type of people – One would be a very stylish, high fashion girl who likes to travel heavy or it would be a NRI family who is travelling within the cities of India

3) If there is a very small, thin and black but smart stroller coming along, I would try to look for a person in his 30s, who is wearing a suit and is either reading mails on his blackberry or using his stylus to do something on his phone

4) If the suitcase is a regular size suitcase with a cover on top of it (usually army colour), I would look for a couple, who are in their mid 50s, used to travelling in trains over the years, dressed very simply and possibly visiting their son or their relatives.

5) If there is a big rugsack coming on the belt, I will look for a foreigner who is dressed in loose jeans and a T-shirt, possibly with an Ipod.

6) If there is a big silver trunk or rather a few of them on the conveyor belt, I will look for a hip looking guy wearing a funky T-shirt with possibly an earring or a ear stud and maybe a tattoo, which adds to his personality of being a DJ.

7) If there is a guitar that is moving on the belt, I will either look for a girl with a possible nose ring or a guy who has long hair and possibly a beard, wearing a T-shirt of any one of the cult rock groups.

8) If there is an old hardback suitcase (seen in films to give ransom money) that can be locked, I will look for someone who is wearing a Safari Suit and glasses or someone who looks like he works in the Govt. Dept. of the state.

Like I mentioned above, my analysis and matching of the luggage and the person who claims it is not always true. In fact, often I am surprised to see that the person who is picking a particular piece of luggage is completely different in terms of his/her personality than expected from the luggage.

In fact, if someone were to do the same exercise and try to match my luggage with me, it would be very difficult as depending on the place and duration of my travel, my luggage keeps changing and there is no particular pattern to my luggage as I travel with big suitcases also as well as small bags as well as just a laptop bag.

I guess it is interesting to do this exercise as just a fun exercise without putting too much seriousness or emphasis to it.

Farewells

In the last three years with my current organisation, I have seen a number of farewells – Farewell of close friends, farewell of not so close friends, farewell of seniors, farewell of peers.

Some leave as they are moving for better career opportunities, some others leave as they are moving to a new phase in their personal lives and some others leave not the organisation but their current roles to move to a different role in a different city. Each one has his own reason for moving on.

While each farewell ends with a speech of the person leaving and a few others who have worked closely with the concerned person, what each and every farewell has been telling me is that there is more to a person than his professional role in the organisation.

Every farewell makes me realise that I don’t know a large part of that person – his personal life, his goals and ambitions, things he is passionate about, causes he supports or would like to support, his knowledge and experience from his past jobs, etc.

Every time a person I leaving, it hits me that here was a person from whom I could have learnt so many things outside our current roles, could have connected with him better and got more closer, could have understood him more and better. But……one gets so involved and wrapped in the time warp of work that getting ten minutes out even once a week with the idea of knowing a person better seems an energy sapping and time wasting effort. Then there are inhibitions of the mind that how the other person will take it, will he be comfortable in opening up and sharing beyond the professional part or the regular and mundane part, which are the hygiene factors which everyone knows about everyone.

Well, the truth is that the other person does not feel uncomfortable… in fact it is oneself who is uncomfortable. The other person is more than willing to impart and share his knowledge and experiences if there is a genuine seeker for it. Who would not want to have someone within the organisation who doesn’t talk to him or come to him to only discuss work and its periphery.

Knowing this and being fully aware of it and now even blogging about it, I shall take sincere efforts to know people around me better and beyond the professional domain so that when I am a part of the next farewell, I can proudly say to myself that I have known this person well enough and even taken a few lessons of life from him.

Twenty Ten

Twenty ten. Wishing all you readers a Happy Twenty Ten. The year itself sounds like a sort of countdown moving in differences of ten. Twenty... ten....zero? The sound of this is not good so maybe 2010 is better... so will stick to that.

With the start of 2010 has started another big discussion. What do we call this decade or rather what do we call the years from 2010 to 2019. This is a dilemma that the world faces after every 100 years, but till now we have not been able to solve for it as there is no term for the decade of 10-19, whereas we have terms for all other decades, starting from the twenties and going up to the nineties. In fact, even the decade of 2000 to 2009 was coined a term called noughties.

Media houses, publications, social networking sites are all discussing and trying to solve for this dilemma. TOI even came up with a few options like calling this decade as tennies (sounds like a sport to me) or oughties and asked for the popular choice through a poll. People, of course, have different views and each one has his or her own preferences. Some even feel that we should call it the tweenies or some other such name. Someone even suggested that we need not bother as everything will come to an end by 2012 (Talk about movies influencing minds of people)

While people are bothering about what to call this decade I am thinking to go to the root cause of this problem. How did this problem get created in the first place? My mind goes back to the people who gave us all the numbers and who gave names to these numbers. It all started from there.

Whoever gave names to these numbers did not utilise his creativity to the fullest as he/she was very creative in giving names to numbers between 0 -20, but after that all the creativity fizzled out and laziness set in as all the numbers were given a common name for the entire stretch of ten numbers. Therefore numbers between 20 – 29 were all called twenty something and the same holds good for the number series after that.

It would have been much better if this creativity had fizzled out as soon as the number ten was reached because then in that case, the numbers between 10 – 19 would have been like:
Tenty One, Tenty Two, Tenty Three, Tenty Four, Tenty Five, Tenty Six, Tenty Seven, Tenty Eight and Tenty Nine

But since this would have sounded similar to Twenty series, the other option would have been to call it:
Ten One, TenTwo, Ten Three, Ten Four, Ten Five, Ten Six, Ten Seven, Ten Eight and Ten Nine.

So the question that comes to my mind is that should we solve for the smaller problem of what to call this decade or is there a bigger problem in the naming of the numbers and is there a possibility of changing that. I would like to end this blog with this thought in your minds….so that you can come back and comment on how you see the issue and what are the possible solutions.

End of a Relationship

When the phone stops ringing,
And the SMS stops beeping
Is It the end of a relationship?

When the heart does not feel like doing anything
And the mind cannot concentrate
Is it the end of a relationship?

When the eyes show lot of pain
And the smile dissappears from your face
Is it the end of a relationship?

When the world looks like a horrid place
And you don’t feel like talking to anyone
Is it the end of a relationship?

When anything romantic looks like completely fake
And mountains and seas look like the worst place to be
Is it the end of a relationship?

When jokes do not make you laugh
And songs with pathos is what you want to hear
Is it the end of a relationship?

If only people knew
And they could see the signals before
The world would be a less painful place..

But no-one knows when or where…
it will be the end of the relationship for him/her.

(Dedicated to a few friends who have gone through a break-up recently)